A man stands before a pair of French doors and glares at a squirrel perched on a bird feeder stealing the birds’ food. He sips his coffee, nibbles his pastry, and devises a plan. Later that day he stops at a home improvement store and purchases a special feeder triggered by the weight of a squirrel. Birds are light enough to feed, but the squirrel’s weight prevents it from accessing the food. The man smiles slyly as he sets the new feeder up in his yard and even chuckles a little as he dumps the food from the old feeder into the new one.
~ ~ ~
A man stands before a pair of French doors and glares at a squirrel gnawing away at the ledge of a newly installed bird feeder. One splintered edge of the perch dangles as small shavings drop from the other. Before long the entire perch falls to the ground leaving the squirrel on the ground and birdseed accessible. The squirrel runs up the pole and reaches up and around into the feeder to grab a handful of seed, maintaining its grip on the pole with its two hind feet.
The man sips his coffee, nibbles his pastry, and revises a plan. Later that day he stops at a home improvement store and purchases pvc pipe and fishing line. He smiles slyly as he buries the pipe in the ground and strings up suet cakes using the fishing line, making sure to pick a spot in the open, away from the trees in the yard. He even chuckles a little as he tugs on the line and plays with it between his fingers, testing the strength.
~ ~ ~
A man stands before a pair of French doors and glares at a squirrel clinging to a suet cake and nibbling away at one corner. He gulps his coffee and burns his tongue so that he can’t taste the pastry he nearly chokes on as he mixes up the order of chewing and swallowing. He grasps for another plan and something comes to him.
Later that day he goes to the drug store and buys several creams, ointments, and moisturizers. He grits his teeth as he rubs them up and down the pvc poles and along the fishing line. He sighs as he replaces the suet cakes and cleans up after himself.
~ ~ ~
A man slumps in a chair before a pair of French doors and shakes his head resignedly at a squirrel miraculously gripping a suet cake and perched atop the exposed end of a pvc pipe with fishing line trailing from it down to the ground. The squirrel grips what little is left of the cake in his teeth and slides down the pipe like a fireman responding to a call. He crosses the distance to the step before the doors, peeks in while nibbling a little more, and dashes off, leaving behind a few scattered shells and seeds.